Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.




God heals and the doctor takes the fee.



A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months.




My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said "Cough!"



The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered "So did my arthritis!"




"Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears." "Don't answer!"



Nurse: "Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office". Doctor: "Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in."




I know a guy who had his doctor say "take some weight off, go to a health club." This man lost 20 pounds in one week! The machine tore his leg off!



A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.